The Rooms You Belong In

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“I look around, and I know that I am supposed to fit in with these events, but I don’t see myself the way everyone in this room sees me—sometimes you have to be who they want you to be.” 

That’s a guy who built a company to almost half a billion dollars. 

It would surprise you how often I have heard this sentiment. People who have “made it” in society’s eyes and who have achieved incredible things…but really have not connected with it being who they are. They often feel uncomfortable around people with similar levels of success and can even have moments where they want to avoid places where they shouldn’t have any hesitation. The achievement, the position they’re in, and the lives they live still haven’t really set in. It’s new. It’s a very common experience.

They don’t always feel like they quite belong, but they keep stepping up and making it happen. They keep making their way into larger rooms over the course of their career. Stepping into new shoes they’ve created for themselves.

It’s odd to straddle two worlds inside of us as we rise. While some can separate it out and keep moving forward to become builders—like the man above—for others, it holds them back.

We all carry a view of ourselves that sometimes doesn’t match the way the rest of the world sees us, but why does this happen, how can we use it, and what are the real risks of holding onto versions of ourselves that don’t match who we are…or who we aspire to be? 

You have to button up your shirt, step outside your comfort zone, and play a new game. Over and over again, in the course of your career.

The rooms you need to step into will often not be familiar—but rising above who you once were or where you come from is really how even those with the most both begin to rise, and keep rising. The rooms don’t start feeling familiar for a while even when you’ve clearly earned your seat—because you keep changing levels.

You’ve got to keep being uncomfortable, and shifting in your seat. Entering…and often commanding in rooms your life did not prepare you for. Here is how some people stay grounded, how to think about it, and how to be sure you are always moving forward.