Being a Straight Shooter: How to be More Assertive & Get What You (Truly) Want

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If there’s one trait I consistently see people struggling with on the way up, it’s assertiveness. For many, it’s confused with aggressiveness, but the two couldn’t be more different.

The tell-tale sign of a lack of assertiveness?

• Consistently held frustration

• Having a hard time giving critical feedback to others

• Avoiding saying “no” when you know you should

• Allowing others (execs, etc) to “take the reins” rather than making the call/decision yourself

• Being silent when you have an opinion (backed by fact) at the table

• Staying frustrated instead of expressing things that would correct the situation

All of these things above are necessary things! But people feel bad doing them…and it has a professional cost to them and everyone around them.

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Here’s a good working definition of assertiveness: “Being assertive means communicating with others in a direct and honest manner without intentionally hurting anyone’s feelings.”

Will you *sometimes* hurt people’s feelings? Yes. Sometimes, you’ll have to say hard things, but you’re not a jerk; you’re just direct. Not being straightforward, direct, and honest often leaves you frustrated, disappointed, and resentful of your team and yourself because things aren’t getting done or happening the way you wanted. And it leaves others just guessing on what’s going on, and how to move forward in the right way.

This is about being a straight shooter. So, let’s talk about how to be more assertive.